New York, NY, USA

©2017 by Clancy B. Tripp.

28472077_10156302275581289_9198167234770522163_n.jpg
 

WRITING

 
Screen Shot 2018-03-31 at 7.10.45 PM.png

NATIONAL PARK SERVICE UNVEILS MONUMENTS TO FACEBOOK POSTS FROM YOUR HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS

August, 2017

“Breathtaking” is just one word that comes to mind when visitors catch a glimpse of this gleaming canyon, whose impressive depth and breadth is rivaled only by the enormous void in some people’s lives that only clickbait quizzes can fill.
[Robot Butt]

Screen Shot 2018-03-31 at 7.09.11 PM.png

REASONS I DID NOT SHOW UP FOR THE JOB INTERVIEW
(AND AM NOW IGNORING YOUR EMAILS)

October, 2017

I had to deal with a family emergency. My grandmother, who had long been suffering from an ailment specific enough to sound plausible but vague enough to avoid actually jinxing her health, took a turn for the worse. 
[The Belladonna]

Screen Shot 2018-03-31 at 7.06.13 PM.png

IF YOU WANT ME AND YOUR FATHER TO HELP WITH RENT, PLEASE PASS THIS TEST

November, 2017

A bank of words is provided, but — as with your degrees in Anthropology and Environmental Science — some may not be used.
[The Establishment / Intimates]

Screen Shot 2018-08-03 at 3.12.07 PM.png

SILICON VALLEY STARTUP OR PLAGUE-ERA FEUDAL BUSINESS

July, 2018

"The culture is very elder-oriented; the business is populated entirely by men in their early thirties. Everyone else is dead."
[McSweeney's Internet Tendency]

Screen Shot 2019-02-20 at 5.59.39 PM.png

DON'T LET THE PIGEON BUILD A BORDER WALL!

February, 2019

"Hi! I’m the 116th United States Congress. I have to go away for some time. Please watch the country while I’m gone for thirty-five days. And remember, don’t let the pigeon build a border wall!"
[McSweeney's Internet Tendency]

Screen Shot 2019-07-22 at 9.18.34 AM.png

TURBO-TAX FOR TWENTY-SOMETHINGS

April, 2019

Claim any homeownership tax breaks you qualify for:
Ha ha ha ha. Just kidding. Owning a home, can you imagine?
Realize you're $300 short on rent. Sell your plasma.
[Weekly Humorist]

Screen Shot 2019-07-22 at 9.21.54 AM.png

I AM YOUR FRIEND WHO SUGGESTED BOTTOMLESS BRUNCH AND I DID NOT COME HERE TO PLAY GAMES

May, 2019

Please claim your friends from the bathroom floor.
[The Belladonna]

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Send them my way—I thrive on constructive criticism.

CONTACT

Typewriter